Benjamin Franklin says that two things are inevitable in life: death and taxes. And the nice thing about death is that the Republicans may be right. It’s only fake news.
2017 started out with President Donald Trump counting his inaugural crowd and coming up with a larger number than President Barak Obama’s inaugural crowd. It turns out that Trump was counting in base system eight and not ten like Obama. I am currently re-examining my old math papers, I may be genius.
2017 was a year when geography and literature came together in Charlottesville. It seems that a group of “nice” extremists were just there to promote John Kennedy Toole’s book “Confederacy of Dunces.” They just needed the torches to read by.
Inspired by the movie, “Downsizing,” all Democrats turned into 1-inch people and practically disappeared.
As the Democrats “downsize,” The Republicans look at the new tax bill like the movie, “All the Money in the World.”
Recycling? Hats with M.A.G.A. (Make America Great Again) have added a new letter. M.A.D.G.A. Make America Date Great Again. This is part of the reexamination of current dating techniques that have more in common with the book, “How to Bag a Mongoose.”
Buried in the new tax bill is a permanent banning of the book, “Robin Hood.”
Illustrating the trickle-down theory and it’s positive effect on the economy, is the selling of “Salvator Mundi” by Leonardo da Vinci for $450 million. This happens to be the average tax savings for billionaires under the new bill. So if each billionaire would buy a new painting from da Vinci who decides to bring the money to the states, gets drunk and tosses the money from the balcony, people’s lives would be better.
Since Kim Jong Un is now calling Donald Trump “dowtard” again and Donald Trump is back to calling Un “rocket man.” It may be time to end the first nuclear poetry slam.
The “Yuge” tax savings bill will raise taxes on more than half of the taxpayers. The trick is to think of it in a different base system.
At least the year ended with Prince Harry’s engagement to Meghan Markle. For two people with no power, they seem very happy. Maybe Nancy Perlosi and Chuck Schumer can learn from them.
The New Tax Bill. It’s finally a tax answer to Horace Greeley’s old saying “Go West Young Man.” Go west, young man. Go West.” From a tax standpoint, it isn’t good to be in those large Blue states. It may be better to go South-East.
The state and local tax deductions (including property taxes) are limited to $10,000 a year. On your Schedule A of your 1040, checkout line 9, subtract $10,000. That is your deduction that you lose.
Mortgage interest is still limited to $1,000,000. For new purchases, it will be $750,000. Equity lines of credit may no longer be deductible.
You can still get an exclusion if you live in your house two out of five years.
The big change is misc. deductions. Totally eliminated. Look at line 27 on Schedule A. No business deductions unless you have self-employment income. Variety announced that everyone should incorporate. Check with your accountant, which is us.
Also, if your stock advisors charge a percentage, it may be better to pay commissions on a stock by stock basis.
Medical deductions are still deductible for those expenses over 10% of your adjusted gross income.
In a couple of years alimony won’t be a deduction.
The child tax credit has gone from $1,000 to $2,000. The income limitations will be much higher. However, the tax bill eliminates the $4,050 personal exemptions. So, it’s a little bit like a flim-flam tax deduction.
The standard deduction will double. So, if you’re single, the first $12,000 of income is tax-free. Married $24,000.
In a lot of ways, this is a tax bill that no one wanted, and even more people never read. 83% of the benefits are going to go to corporations and very high-income taxpayers.
You can prepay your property taxes, car registration and union dues.
If you’re getting a refund, don’t relax. They are going after Social Security next.
To help you navigate the wars of taxation is basically the same team as last year.
When you call, the person answering the phones, should be Grace. She’s filled with humor and fun. So, enjoy her.
She may send you off to our office manager Dom. I’ve known her since she was four years old and I offered her a job in 13 years. She took me seriously.
Or maybe you’re used to talking to Patty. Patty is really in charge of everything. She makes sure that your returns get set sent to the government and sent to you. She makes sure your payments to me are recorded.
Nataliya is our computer expert and payroll extraordinaire. Her goal is to protect your information and privacy. Actually, I’m not really sure her name is Nataliya.
The really nice person is Viky. We keep her under lock and key. You only see her if something goes wrong.